In the Right Place

Three days ago I thought I lost my mind. Four days ago I thought I’d found it. Both of these mental events happened here, at my desk, which makes me wonder what might happen next. I thought that my mind, or body, or both, had become more predictable. Change doesn’t happen only outside of me. It also happens on the inside, where mystery prevents me from knowing with certainty what happens moment to moment. Am I curious to know what might happen next, or am I afraid to face the uncertainty of what kinds of inner experiences I’ll have today? Rigidity and frigidity come to mind. I don’t want to change how I experience my mind or my body. An unwelcome sentence arrives: this attitude sometimes leaves me cold or unimaginative, as if my mind and body were agreeing on something. What might that be? Perhaps that repetition likes things to remain the same. I almost wrote religion instead of repetition. In high school, I forgot what happened the day before religiously. Who wants to remember losing one’s own mind? Another word demands to appear on the page: congeal. As a high school student, fear seemed to block me from imagining and thinking. In this paragraph, I’ve struggled to form thoughts from images and words. Yet I don’t feel as if I’ve either lost or found my mind. It’s been here all along.

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4 thoughts on “In the Right Place”

    1. Thank you very much. And I am sorry for the late reply. I was out of town for a few days. I think I am blogging a book. I have been writing a piece most days for a long time now, because it is therapeutic for me, and I’ve been able to make time to do it, but I might start posting a little less frequently. For me, the process of coming up with ideas, of discovering writing prompts, is fun and also therapeutic, and I might start taking more time in working with images and words and ideas before I start writing. Thanks again for your words.

      Liked by 1 person

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