Reading Future

I didn’t usually associate my daily reading with the future. Welcome to the microscopic level of reading, I said to myself as I stood up and left my desk to pour myself more coffee. I was angry and I wished I knew why. Above, I wrote the word microstructure before replacing it with microscopic. In my mind and on the screen, I replaced a noun with an adjective. A noun identifies someone or something. An adjective typically modifies a noun or a pronoun. I returned to my desk with a cup full of caffeine, and before I could sit down, a disturbing thought came to me: I’m not angry: I’m afraid. The book before me on the desk wasn’t light reading. And I was at the beginning of the introduction. I found myself reading much faster than I’d planned on, as if something inside of me were pushing me forward, and I wondered toward what. Remembering the words microstructure and microscopic, I realized I wasn’t interested in structure; I wanted to study minute details. Slow down, I said to myself. The introduction was to Jung’s The Red Book, written by Sonu Shamdasani. As a reader of Jung for over twenty years, much of what I read was familiar to me. Yet, with each page that I read, I also realized that I’d seldom focused on any of this information about Jung’s work. I’d avoided doing so. This last thought was unwelcome, and I wanted to blame the strong coffee. But I knew this kind of detailed reading wouldn’t be easy. I was moving into my own reading future.


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