Mental Texts

It was impossible to read anything. My hands were empty. I was seated in my usual position. I was doing what I usually did at 1:10 on a Wednesday afternoon: listening, and occasionally speaking. I spoke in my mind, sometimes incessantly. This mental noise made it difficult to focus on the task at hand, which took place outside of my mind. Nothing exists entirely outside of my mind. This last sentence was an example of what I experienced at 1:10, or 1:11, on any given weekday afternoon. Something was wrong with this mental experience of the last couple of minutes. Everything that happens in a forty-five or fifty-minute hour of psychotherapy happens inside the minds of both client and therapist. Maybe I was reading in my mind. Since I experienced the mental text as if it were in a foreign language, I could only imagine what the words meant. I was imagining. Another mental text appeared. The client across from me spoke. The unconscious was providing me with plenty to read.

 

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